Dating a Jock
Dr. Belisa Vranich
Dating a Jock
It's every man's fantasy: a girlfriend who loves to play and watch sports as much as he does. But dating a tomboy has its flip side. Do you play as hard? Do you let her win? Can you handle it if she's better than you?
Frankly, boys, it's a minefield.
Follow my advice if you want to get through it with all your parts intact.
She's seriously athletic and has no qualms beating you. In front of your friends. Often.
She'll never make you come home at halftime. (And why would she? For her, that's just midway through the game she's winning.)
She knows your weaknesses and injuries. She is wily, aggressive, and unrelenting. She has no problem handing you your balls at the end of any game you're playing.
You can't ask her to take it easy on you, but you can recruit her to your team. So whenever you can, partner up with her. Get her to savor winning together, and maybe she'll have some pity next time you're head-to-head.
Her passion for sports is not exactly matched by her prowess.
Tag football, Frisbee, miniature golf, kickball … If it's a sport, she's in. And shotgun.
She strikes out, drops the ball, fouls, spaces out, and is in general the weakest link. She's also your girl, so crushing her makes you feel like a cad.
Level the playing field any way you can so she can still enjoy herself. Come up with an excuse as to why you should give her a head start or yourself a handicap. Most important in this situation: Allow yourself to really enjoy the game for the game's sake.
She has a team for every season.
She can pontificate on how Tiger's scores are affecting the game of golf. She can home in on Jerome James's apathetic performances. She can detail why the ref is picking on LeBron yet again.
It's always the opposing team. That's right. You are UNC, she's Duke. She's Yankees, you are Red Sox. You are sleeping with the enemy. What this means? You disagree about sports. All. Year. Long.
Enforce a “no talking about sports in the bedroom” rule. Pronto. You can agree to disagree about a foul or shot or resume the discussion the next day, but in general, when you pass through that doorway, sports banter should end and the pillow talk begin. Explain it to her this way and she's sure to be game.
She's obsessed with competition -- even more so than you are.
If there's a dart board, pool table or hacky sack in sight, she's making a beeline for it.
You never thought you'd say this, but you wish she'd pay more attention to you -- and not just to beating you.
Your best bet here is honesty. Level with her. And then make plans for “we” time that doesn't involve a pigskin, goal or referee: Try renting a movie or going to a concert. The more non-sports-related things you do together, the more non-sports-related content there will be to talk about, and all eyes should soon be on you.
She's always in, whether she's invited or not.
While your buddies are getting the eye roll or pout from their ladies, yours is already changed into her sweats.
It's endearing but annoying that she's always in tow when it comes to sports. Sometimes you wouldn't mind playing -- or even just hanging -- with the guys.
She lets you slither away when her friends mention a sale on boots or start complaining about their boyfriends. Well, flip the script. Tell her the guys want to talk guy stuff (if a buddy's having girl trouble, even better), and she'll most likely bow out of her own accord.
Dr. Belisa Vranich Dr. Belisa Vranich is a clinical psychologist, author, and public speaker specializing in relationships and sex. She is also a member of the Gold's Gym Fitness Institute and a sexpert at GoodInBed.com.
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