by Danyelle Little
When your friendship is no longer working for you, there's a right way and a wrong way to end things
So, you have that friend you were once so close with. A friend that was there for you when you needed her, a friend you confided in and thought was going to be in your life forever.
But now, everything's changed.
Instead of lifting you up, your friend is dragging you down, sucking the energy out of you. You don't pick up the phone when she calls. You dread her asking you out for a drink because, suddenly, you have nothing but pleasantries to talk about and the silence that used to feel comfortable now feels heavy and strange. Even worse, you see yourself pretending to be someone you're not, saying things you don't really want to say and you just become annoyed with yourself every time you meet up with her.
You feel guilty, have sleepless nights. You know it's time to break up with her, but you have no clue how. Do you just stop replying to her texts? Do you stop responding to her invitations? Do you disappear and hope she gets the clue?
You could do that, but as it is the case with any kind of relationship that ends this way: if it stays unresolved, it will haunt you for years. And you sure as heck don't need that kind of emotional baggage, do you? So, how do you go about the break-up gracefully? You face it head-on. Yup, you muster up your courage to be honest and tell it like it is.
Now, your friend might turn on you, tell you how wrong you are and how you're the one who has changed or become different. That's OK. It may even be true. The fact is that people evolve and friends sometimes move in completely different directions. Just because you were close at one point, doesn't mean that you have to force it, remain in it and, basically, waste your time.
You don't have to be nasty about it. Just be real, stay true to yourself and explain how you feel. Tell your friend that this friendship doesn't serve either of you, that it's better to move on and live separate lives. If you're lucky, your friend agrees and you'll happily go your separate ways. If not, you'll have at least spoken your peace and you can move on with a clear conscience, knowing you've done the right thing.
Feels good to be honest, doesn't it?